Sunday, March 28, 2010

All Because I Danced:

DATE WRITTEN: March 24, 2010

So I tried it today. I tried to dance in the rain, and I'm pretty sure I did it without it being soo hard. It was easy. I was my crazy old self again. I loved it. I loved dancing in my heavy rain storm and I loved knowing that Satan hated it. I loved that Satan didn't get the pleasure of watching me sitting there doing nothing, like he wanted. I loved that i let God over come my storm and let him help me to dance. He helped me through my day, dancing away. He gave me a lesson in my bible class just for me. He helped me to not just smile but to laugh loudly through my day. He helped me keep my humor, through this stormy day. He let me see the light through all the darkness that had came. I really loved dancing in the rain. But I think since I did dance, since I didn't let Satan get the pleasure, since I let God in. He spoke the words that lead the storm away. My friend had told me she realized what she had done; that she realized that it wasn't the right thing to do. She had realized our friendship was too great to give away. He led the storm, the lightening, the thunder, and all the hell away. He took all the pain away. He brought the sunshine and repaired my "bump in the road" all because I danced in the rain.

Turning A Bump In The Road To Dancing:

DATE WRITTEN: March 23, 2010

So as I see it we’re all on a trip to the end. There are many different ways to get there but only two endings. I see how we’re all in our own little cars, driving to our destination. Well I’ve been driving pretty slow, taking my detours, gas stops, and bathroom breaks as much as I can. I’ve gone through heavy storms, cloudy nights, pouring rain, sunshine, clear days, and much more. But as of right now I’m just in a bump in the road. I’m losing my best friend, the one I did everything with, crazy things beyond measurement. I’ve lost her trust and hope of becoming best friends again. She told me its better this way. That she feels and thinks that it’ll help me, when I only feel like its hurting me. She thinks all she did was bring me down, but she didn’t. She taught me things that I would never know. She taught me that the two most different people in the world can share common interest, love and care for each other. Our friendship was one of the greatest things that has happened to me in a while. We came together when we needed each other the most. We we’re there for each other at the worst. We loved each other even though we weren’t perfect. I’ll try to stop all this pain; I’ll try to see this as a bump in my road that needs to be fixed. But it’s not just a bump in the road any more, its that and more. A storms starting, lighten, thunder, and hell is coming, its here. I’m hurting and in so much pain. This bump in the road is going to be harder to fix than I have ever thought I would. The bump has turned into a hole; the storm has filled it up with cold icy water. It’s going to take months and months to fix. How does a bump turn into such a mess?! I guess I’ll try to suck it up and instead of just sitting around waiting for the sun to come out I’ll make of the storm and take it step by step and try dancing in the rain.

My Tale:

REAL DATE WRITTEN: Feruary 25, 2010

So I've finally decided! Unlike most girls, I don't want to live a fairytale, I don't want that so called "fairytale" ending. Yeah, I know that sounds completely odd and crazy. But the truth is fairytales aren't real, so why should I want one anyways. Yeah, I mean you do get that perfect ending, they lived happily ever after! But is that what you really want. Because my thing is I don’t want a perfect ending, I want my ending to end the way it should, a unique ending different from everyone else’s, maybe even a exciting ending just my ending no one else’s. You see in all fairytales they all happened and end the same way. I want a different ending, a new and different setting, you know? Yes I do want to feel like a princess but only in my own way. I want to mess up, I don’t want everything to go perfect. True fully my ending will probably end all messed up but hey who cares, it would mean I lived a messed up, crazy, exciting life and nothing was perfect, or like anybodies life and that’s how life should be. Fairytales are great, but I want to make my own tale. I want people to see that my life wasn’t perfect and nothing worked like it should of, but for them to see I had my own tale different from any fairytale, I had a Sabrina’s Tale. I think you should join me in your own tale, fall in love, have an imperfect life, let things go wrong, have your own tale, not someone else’s.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Too Complicated:

Why is life so complicated? I mean you win, you lose. You have your ups and your downs. It’s just too complicated for any person to understand. But why can’t we understand? We try but that doesn’t help. We fail at things; we lose everything, but some how in the end we gain everything. Why is that? Life is the most complicated thing I know, and it’s the one thing we can’t run from. We try to run from the problems in our lives but they always find us. We try and hide from our flaws and act fake like the world will never know, but it always finds us at our worst. Life can bring out the worst or the best of us. But like I said life’s complicated. We’ll never get why or how. We’ll never find the understanding of it. We just have to live it out, and look for the mysteries in it.